When a child loses someone close to them, it impacts them differently than an adult. The kind of impact it makes has a lot to do with their age. For example, one- and two-year olds have no concept of death. Three- and four-year-olds still don’t understand death but view it as abandonment. It takes until about age nine for kids to fully understand the finality of death. Keep in mind, however, every child is unique, and some may realize the finality of death sooner than others.
Whatever their age, all children need help processing the death of a loved one. That’s why the Visiting Nurse Association (VNA) hosts Camp Chrysalis twice a year, a bereavement-focused camp that provides a way for children who have experienced a death to better understand the feelings and emotions that may come with it. The most recent Camp Chrysalis was in November, and for the first time it included parents – by all accounts it was a huge success. “The parents that were there participated in the activities really well. They interacted with each other and shared their grief stories and discussed how they are supporting their children,” said Bereavement Supervisor,” Melissa King.
The day involved nature walks, journaling, canoeing and more. Throughout all of these activities, the children were encouraged to write or talk about their feelings surrounding grief. The day also included a creative activity as a kick-off to the holiday season, which can be particularly difficult to navigate when experiencing the loss of a loved one. The objective was to create a ‘grief’ ornament that the children decorated with different colored ribbons, both on the outside and inside. An emotion was assigned to each ribbon, and while the children chose their ribbon colors, the VNA grief counselor talked with them about all the different emotions they were feeling about the person they had lost and had them make a list. Décor for the ornaments also included various beads that represented memories; for each memory, the children would drop a bead into their ornament.
The last therapeutic activity of the day was a Coping Toolbox that was filled with different items the children could access once home. Every child was given a toolbox, and each one was filled with a picture frame for memories; tissues for tears; a journal for thoughts; a stress ball for “big feelings;” bubbles for practicing deep breathing; and a worry stone for soothing.
Everyone clearly enjoyed the activity, according to Melissa, including the parents, who also received a toolbox. “The parents seemed to really like the toolbox and the suggestions inside of it,” she said. “I think having the family members there was a nice addition and something that we will probably continue with once a year.”
The fun filled, healing day was made possible thanks a to a generous grant to the VNA & Hospice Foundation by Quail Valley Charities, Inc. and the Otis G. Pike Charitable Trust, long-time supporters of this critical program to support grieving children and families. If you would like to learn more about the VNA & Hospice Foundation and how you can support it, please visit www.vnatc.org or call 772-978-5580. Thank you!
